A clever piece by Stephen Marche of Esquire recently drew attention to our increasing cultural fascination with vampires. Young couples these days spend romantic evenings watching episodes of True Blood and The Vampire Diaries. Girls stalk the streets in Twilight sweatshirts. Sweatshirts. When was the last time you saw a teenage boy with a For Whom the Bell Tolls sweatshirt? Right. Marche ends up chalking up all this nonsense to the proposed fact that all young American girls are simply attracted to gay men. We think not. We think, rather, that perhaps this newfound obsession has more to do with an increasing awareness - subconscious or not - of our excesses, and the clandestine midnight parasites which feed off them; and serves as an indication that finally, perhaps, we are ready to take on the truly demonic vampires of our time: energy vampires.
Let me explain: an energy vampire (which run on something called vampire power - also known as vampire energy, standby power, or the obscenely creative "leaking electricity") is any appliance that continues to draw electricity when it's turned off - releasing unnecessary pollutants into the air, and costing you unnecessary dollars. You can identify these energy vampires by the underworldly glow they emit - little red lights, little inaccurate clocks, little numbers - so it's easiest to identify them during the midnight hours. Some of them - listen to this - even draw the same amount of electricity when they're turned off as when they're turned on!
Well! Let me tell you, not for long! Because "Your Name Here the Vampire Slayer" is gonna take 'em out, first by hunting them down with a Kill-a-Watt electricity monitor (good activity for the kids), and then finishing them off with a BITS or a similar smart power strip (don't let the kids see this).
Check out our video on killing energy vampires (fine for the kids) for more info, and then check out our store for special Halloween-week deals on vampire slayers.
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